“Pay attention to me!” What children and staff want most.

What staff wants most from managers isn’t that much different than the Christmas “gifts” children in Spain requested of their parents.

In an experiment captured in an IKEA promotional video, children were asked to write letters to the “Three Kings”—the Spanish equivalent to Santa Claus. “Do you know what you want to ask for?” an adult voice asks.

“A game. A guitar. A Wii. A unicorn,” various children answered. One child stabbed her finger repeated towards a toy advertisement in front of her. “This, this, this and this!”

The children sealed their requests in envelopes, which the researcher set aside before making another request. “And now you’re going to write another letter, to your parents.”

These letters were given to parents, some of whom appeared overcome with emotion, to read:

“I want you to spend more time with me . . . that we do more experiments at home.”

“I’d like it [if] you paid a little bit more attention to us.”

“I’d like it if you would have dinner with us more often.”

“I want you . . . to tickle me . . . and read us a story.”

“I want us to be together for a whole day.”

“I want to play, mama. I want you to play cowboys with me.”

The third phase of the experiment is the most revealing, providing a powerful message for all parents. “If you could send [only] one of the two letters, which would you send? The one to the Three Kings or the one to Mom and Dad?”

The children were unanimous in their responses. “The one to my mama. The one to my parents. Mom and Dad.”

One parent summed up what she had learned from reading her child’s letter. “Imagine! You want to give them the best you can and the best is yourself.”

What are the implications for managers and supervisors? It’s not that employees want them to play cowboy or read them a story. And tickling them would be a particularly bad idea.

But other messages do resonate for the workplace. Most employees want the boss’s attention. For her to sit down for a cup of coffee with staff. For the boss to ask them questions and listen to their responses and suggestions. To advise them about what’s happening and let them in on the organization’s plans for the future.

When the boss spends time with staff and notices what they are doing, staff members feel valued and appreciated, emotions that lead to improved retention and increased engagement.

While awards, gifts and doughnuts on the staffroom table may be appreciated, these tangible gestures of appreciation fall short of the impact that a few minutes of the boss’s time has on staff members.

Kids and employees. Parents and managers. The situations and relationships are different, but maybe not as different as we think.

How would Santa recognize his elves?

We all know about how Santa Claus and his staff (better known as “the elves”) prepare for his Christmas Eve deliveries, but what happens when it’s all over? Santa gets so much credit for spreading joy during the holiday season, but everything that the jolly old guy in the red accomplishes depends on what the elves do behind the scenes. Does Santa acknowledge all the little people for the many ways in which they contribute?

I believe that the answer is yes. Santa does have an elf-recognition plan and Santa-related literature provides clues to how it works. It includes the same ingredients of GREAT staff recognition that those who are effective staff-recognizers practise. Santa’s elf-recognition practices are inspired by Genuine gratitude for what the elves do and the message of appreciation is strengthened by being Relevant, Explicit, Appropriate and Timely.

Santa knows that he wouldn’t be able to make boys and girls around the world happy on Christmas morning if it wasn’t for the efforts of “all the little people” who labour away at the North Pole to prepare for this one special day—making toys, packing Santa’s sleigh, and mucking out the reindeer’s pen.

With this understanding comes a sense of appreciation for what the elves do that ensures that Santa’s expressions of gratitude are Genuine. We also know that Santa demonstrates equity in how treats all children—and elves. No matter who you are, or what your circumstances, you will receive the gifts or recognition you deserve.

“He doesn’t care if you are rich or poor,

He loves you just the same.”

[From Here Comes Santa Claus by Gene Autry and Oakley Haldeman]

Treating all children equitably doesn’t mean treating every child the same, or that every child will receive a gift. As he prepares for a night spent circumnavigating the globe, Santa must decide which children will receive gifts and who will not, based on how they behaved during the previous 12 months.

Santa is very clear about what he expects of children, who are warned against behaviours that may result in finding only a lump of coal in their stockings on Christmas morning.

“Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout, I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town”

[From Santa Claus is Coming to Town by John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie] 

And we know that Santa keeps track of which children are demonstrating gift-worthy behaviours.

“He’s making a list,

And checking it twice,

Gonna find out

Who’s naughty and nice . . .

He sees you when you’re sleeping

He knows when you’re awake,

He knows if you’ve been bad or good.”

[From Santa Claus is Coming to Town]

Based on this evidence, one concludes that Santa knows which behaviours are Relevant to the elves helping Santa fulfil his mission and meet his goals—lots of toys, a carefully-packed sleigh and spotless reindeer pens.

Santa can be very specific about what he wants and why. We know that—aware of one reindeer’s unique strengths—Santa approached him with a specific request, demonstrating the same attention to detail that is required to provide Explicit recognition.

“Then one foggy Christmas Eve,

Santa came to say,

‘Rudolph with your nose so bright,

Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?’”

[From Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer by Johnny Marks]

No one really knows that much about the elves. For example, we don’t know how many work at the North Pole. Except for the few we’ve met through movies and TV specials, most toil in anonymity. But we can be confident that Santa knows who they are, just as he knows each child—and reindeer—individually.

“As he whistled and shouted,

And called them by name,

‘Now! Dasher, now! Dancer,

Now! Prancer and Vixen . . .”

[From ’Twas the Night before Christmas by Clement Moore]

There is no single toy that will satisfy every child. Santa knows that. He gets to know children by reading their letters and meeting them in shopping malls around the world. He also knows the elves and how they contribute. Because he gets to know each child and elf as an individual, the gifts and recognition he delivers are Appropriate for the recipients.

“Johnny wants a pair of skates;
Suzy wants a dolly;


Nellie wants a story book–
She thinks dolls are folly

[From Jolly Old Saint Nicholas (author unknown)]”

“A pair of hopalong boots and pistol that shoots,

Is the wish of Barry and Ben;

Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk,

Is the hope of Janice and Jen.”

[From It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas by Meredith Wilson]

Santa is a master of time management. How else would he be able to deliver gifts to millions of children in just one night? He is not someone to waste time. When stockings need to be filled, he fills them. When recognition is deserved, he gets on with providing it in a Timely fashion.

“He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.”

[From ’Twas the Night before Christmas]

Any manager or supervisor can deliver recognition like Santa does, by observing these guidelines:

• Know and Genuinely appreciate elves for what they achieve and how they contribute.
• Identify behaviours that are Relevant to your organization’s success and clearly communicate these to your elves.
• Be Explicit when describing what the individual and team did and why this action was important and appreciated.
• Know your elves as individuals (their interests, hobbies, food preferences, etc.) so that you can provide Appropriate recognition that the elves will value.
• Remember that now is the best time to recognize elves—as soon as possible after you witness or become aware of behaviours that you appreciate.