You can learn much when you share a meal with employees

Once upon a time, seemingly in a land far away, airlines served meals to passengers on all but the shortest of flights. Today, unfortunately, meal service is limited to overseas and charter flights, to some smaller domestic airlines, and to business class (although I have no first-hand knowledge of the latter).

When the meal arrives, the effect is almost immediate. The noise level aboard increases. Passengers who had sat in silence from the time they boarded begin to talk to each other.

Food is a catalyst that encourages conversation. Passengers share information about themselves, their work and their interests, with the strangers in the next seat who they had studiously ignored just moments earlier. People feel comfortable talking with those with whom they are dining, even when they are using plastic cutlery to eat food from plastic containers delivered on plastic trays.

This phenomenon, the willingness to share with others, is not confined to airplane cabins. It could happen anywhere people eat together, including in your workplace.

Sharing a meal or a cup of coffee creates a relaxed atmosphere, in which people will talk about themselves and their interests. It creates an opportunity to get to know others as individuals—if you are there to hear what is being said. You will never learn about the people with whom you work if you avoid the lunchroom, remain at your desk during breaks, or leave the building every noon hour.

They may describe their hobbies, family, reading habits and career goals. They may refer to the coffee shops they frequent; to their favourite sports teams, celebrities, authors and travel destinations; and to their food preferences. What you learn can be used to recognize individuals in Appropriate ways, reflecting their interests and passions.

What happens in your workplace? Has food become a catalyst for conversation? What have you learned about individual staff members as a result of sharing a meal with them? How did (or could) you use this knowledge to recognize people in Appropriate ways?

Feeling unappreciated is the top reason for people to leave jobs they love

Madeline is someone who enjoys her work, is excited about what she does and becomes passionate when she talks about the clients she serves. Knowing this, it was a surprise when Madeline announced she was actively searching for a new job.

The obvious question was why?

Her reply: “There is only one reason that someone would quit a job they love.”

Actually there may be a number of reasons to leave an otherwise desirable job: financial—the person can’t live on what he is paid; geographical—there is somewhere she would prefer to live, and this isn’t it; or family—a spouse has been transferred or the individual desires to live closer to where her family lives.

But none of these reasons factored into Madeline’s decision. The “one reason” to which she was referring is the number one reason people leave jobs. They don’t feel appreciated for what they do.

In the middle of the 20th century, Lawrence Lindahl discovered what several other researchers have confirmed in each of the decades since his research was originally published: what people want most from their jobs is to feel appreciated for how they contribute and what they achieve. Clearly, this was not something that Madeline was feeling in her current job.

As 19th century American philosopher and psychologist William James wrote, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

The top on-the-job source of appreciation—or as in Madeline’s case, the lack of appreciation—is the employee’s direct supervisor.

It is often said that, “People join organizations, but they quit bosses.” This places a lot of responsibility on the shoulders of supervisors and managers, but there are ways they can create workplaces where people want to be—somewhere they feel valued, appreciated and cared for:

• Communicate. Let people know your expectations and what is happening (number two on Lindahl’s list of what people want from their jobs is to “feel ‘in’ on things”). Keep your messages clear and concise.
• Listen to staff. What’s important to them? What don’t they understand? What suggestions do they have that you could implement to improve work process or the work environment? How do they prefer to be recognized?
• Provide timely feedback. Employees want to know how they are doing. Don’t leave them guessing; tell them. Describe specifically what they did that you appreciate or where you feel their performance needs to improve.
• Recognize staff frequently, both individually and as a team. Recognition is the best way to demonstrate that you value staff members as individuals and appreciate them for how they contribute and what they achieve. High-value, low-cost staff recognition is an effective way to improve retention, boost morale and increase engagement.

How should I use information that audience members provide?

Reading the evaluations that audience members complete after breakout sessions at conferences can be frustrating. Sure, the feedback can be gratifying (“Best sessions I’ve ever attended!”); or useful, (“Please let us know where we are on the handout.”) But other comments can be downright confusing.

Back in February, this comment appeared following a presentation at a teachers’ convention: “He only asks us what we want to learn because he is gathering information for his next book.”

Sounds negative, doesn’t it? Or is it?

I had begun the breakout session by asking participants what questions they want to have answered during it. After reviewing the resulting list, I committed to answering as many of their questions as possible during the 90 minutes that were available to us. Knowing that I would be unable to address all that was on the list, I said I would answer their outstanding questions in my newsletter (which I am now doing under the “You Asked . . .” heading).

I feel that this approach is the best way to match my presentations to what is relevant to the audience. My rationale goes like this: Meet participants’ expectations by first understanding their expectations. People will learn more when their learning needs are addressed because they will feel they are understood. Don’t tell them what I know they should be told; focus on what they are ready to learn.

It’s what I do when preparing for a half- or full-day workshop, too. Before an on-site workshop, I interview key people within the organization to discover their expectations and invite all participants to complete an online survey. This information is used to focus the message to their learning needs.

When this isn’t possible—such as during a convention breakout session—I attempt to discover clues about participants’ expectations by speaking to individuals as they arrive, or by designing an activity to collect questions to which they wish answers.

How is this information used? First, it is used to adjust the presentation to focus more on participants’ expectations and questions. Later I will use what I learned to identify what should be added to future presentations and workshop materials. Some questions will also be the stimulus for future articles.

What about “using this information for his next book?”

Of course, that might happen, too. Would this be a bad thing? What reason would an author have for writing book if not to answer the questions of potential readers? Why would anyone buy a book—or attend a workshop or read a newsletter article—if it were not to find answers to questions they have about the topic?

Was this comment from the anonymous participant negative or positive? You’ll have to decide for yourself.