Why a friend’s Christmas letter was so disappointing

Let me make this clear: I enjoy receiving those much-maligned Christmas letters. I look forward to the chronicles of the writers’ lives over the past 12 months.

Why wouldn’t I? These are people who I have chosen as friends or who are family members. Of course I’m interested in what’s happening in their lives. Often it is the only time I hear from them.

Realizing this is how I feel, I was surprised and am a little embarrassed by my reaction to an email I received just prior to Christmas.

“In an effort to save trees, we are sending our annual Christmas letter via email this year and in future,” a friend wrote.

Receiving her Christmas letter by email wasn’t the same. I missed the excitement of discovering an envelope in the mailbox, tearing it open and holding what she had written in my hands.

I clicked on the attachment and printed it (so much for saving trees) before sitting down to read her words. The 2019 letter was as attractive and as informative as her letters in previous years, but I still had an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something was missing.

What wasn’t there—what I was missing—were the few handwritten words scrawled at the bottom or in the margins of her letter, which were the most significant part of her previous letters.

Those words personalized her message to the masses. They created an emotional connection between the writer and the reader.

It’s what we do when we add a personal message to greeting cards, whether we are wishing someone a Merry Christmas, expressing sympathy to a friend who has lost a family member, or thanking staff members for their contributions.

When recognizing staff for what they do, a handwritten message is more meaningful than similar, carefully selected words in the form of a text, email or printed letter.

These messages seem more impersonal. The same message could have been sent to many, as sometimes is the case, such as when executives send letters to individual staff members thanking them for their effort over the past year or congratulating them on reaching a service milestone, using exactly the same words in every letter.

Even though as much thought may go into an email or typed letter, handwritten notes are seen as evidence that the writer feels that the intended recipients and what they did are worthy of the extra effort reflected in a handwritten message. 

Handwritten recognition seems more Genuine because it appears to recipients that the writers invested something of themselves—their time, in particular—into crafting the message.

It may take a bit longer to write a thank-you note than to send a text or email, but the extra investment of time is worth it. Handwritten praise is powerful. It lasts. 

Recipients often hang onto handwritten thank-you notes. Some display them in their work area. They share them with their family and co-workers. They reread them, reminding themselves of their success and your appreciation for what they did.

As I said at the beginning, I like receiving these Christmas time updates. I’ll just have to accept that email is the 21st century way to send them. But I’ll continue to hand write thank-you notes and I hope you will do the same.

Image Credit: http://www.bigstockphoto.com